Sexual Empowerment Read online

  First published: June 2008

  Second Edition: April 2010

  Third Edition: October 2011

  e-book Edition: August 2012

  ISBN-13: 978-1478340744

  eBook ISBN: 978-1-62346-588-9

  Copyright © June 2008/2010/2011/12. Geoffrey H McDonnell

  All rights reserved. This book is copyright. Except for purposes of private study or fair review, no part of it may be reproduced by photocopying or by any other process, republished in any fashion or stored in an information retrieval system without permission in writing from the publishers.

  Opinions expressed in this book are those of the author unless stated otherwise and may not be conducive to the reader’s circumstances. Consequently, the information in this book should be used as a guide only and accordingly the consequences of any interpretation and practical application of the content lies with the reader.

  Publisher:

  McDonnell Publishing Company

  P O Box 8226

  Christchurch.

  NEWZEALAND

  Email: [email protected]

  For:

  All people wanting to go places in their careers, obtain fame and fortune and find greater love and fulfilment in life.

  Acknowledgements:

  Jill Schroeder for her suggestion on creating a theme.

  Nissa Elsey for her encouragement, tireless assessments and comments from a woman’s perspective.

  Judy Armitage for her encouragement, evaluations and ideas from a woman’s point of view.

  Yvonne Chappell for her forthrightness, editing and comments from a woman’s perspective.

  Averill O’Hara-Safonov, for her comments and ideas.

  Kaye Stalker, Jo Haywood and the Merivale Ladies Book Group Daniel Hurley for the final cover design.

  Dr Calum Gilmour for his assessment and role as devil’s advocate.

  Dr. David Harrowfield, Grant Magorian, Alan Hunter, Chris Howard, Kevin Brady, Ray Cordery and Walter Elsey for their observations and suggestions from a man’s point of view.

  …… and countless other friends asked for comments and ideas

  Sexual Empowerment

  Table of Contents

  Chapter

  Introduction

  1 The Power of Sex

  Our Primeval Instincts

  The Real Aims of Sex

  Sex Drive

  The Priority of Passion

  Erotic Capital

  Sexual Empowerment

  2 Sex: The Physical Action

  The Sex Revolution

  The Need for Sex

  The Female Power Base

  The Male Power Base

  Who has the Power?

  Pleasure of Sex

  3 Erotic Capital

  Erotic Capital

  The Power of Individuality

  The Female Mystique

  The Power of Masculinity

  The X-Factor

  4 A Meeting of the Minds

  Relationships

  Who is Empowering Whom?

  Love Reigns Supreme

  Feminine Needs and Desires

  Masculine Needs and Desires

  5 Sexual Empowerment

  Easy Everyday Empowerment

  In Business, Politics, Entertainment

  In Marketing

  In Product Presentation

  In Selling & Negotiation

  The Eyes have it

  How Women become Wealthy

  Women and Power

  Becoming a Man of Means

  Changing Social Status of Men and Women

  6 Sex and Success

  An Under-estimated Dimension

  Success from the Three Levels of Sex Drive

  Sexual Recreation and Achievement

  Women, Sexuality and Success

  Men, Sexuality and Success

  Polarity in the Power Game!

  About the Author

  Introduction

  The purpose of this book is to explore the relationship between sex appeal and success. I want to show how the relationship exists and prove it’s a lot easier than you think to become wealthy and powerful as a result of your skill in sexual empowerment giving you a greater X-Factor than others. Consider these people; Barack Obama, Franklin D Roosevelt, Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Nicholas Sarkozy, Madonna, Russell Crowe, Elle Macpherson, Billie Jean King, Kylie Minouge, Nicole Kidman, Rupert Murdoch, Oprah Winfrey, J K Rowling, and Lady Gaga. They made the choice to be successful, just as you can. They may be in bigger and more opportunistic environments, but it’s also because their passion for achievement is helped by the positive use of their primeval instincts.

  Many people misunderstand the power of their primeval instincts, thus dissipating their sex appeal, whereas clever people cultivate their sexual genes and learn how to use them to empower themselves. At the start of the new millennium I was a Realtor with a go-ahead cosmopolitan real estate sales and marketing agency. Sales and marketing people are very much a part of the tolerant and humorous side of life. They must be, to understand all the intricacies and temperaments of human nature exhibited by their clients.

  Some of the men at the real estate agency often wondered why it seemed to be, that many good looking and personable ladies did so well, seemingly getting the lion’s share of the business. All sorts of suppositions were expressed as only chauvinists would do so. The blushing ladies of the agency quickly refuted the wild innuendo. They suggested that perhaps the men were just a bunch of demented and frustrated old blokes, who couldn’t get to grips with the power of their own sexuality. The ladies on the other hand knew a lot about the allure of the female mystique, and how it captivates and controls unwitting men. The men had a lot to learn about using its antidote, the power of masculinity.

  There, the battle of the sexes was all part and parcel of the cut and thrust of a growing and dynamic organisation. That real estate environment proved to be one of the greatest laboratories of human behaviour I had ever come across. It was full of extroverts and introverts, many good looking women and men, most personable, some not, many tidy, a few not, several flirtatious, a number not but most of them relentless in their pursuit of fame and fortune. Also included were one or two prima donnas, social climbers, risk takers, the odd con artist, punter and wise seer but overall, a real mixture of enterprising and progressive humanity. There was some debate as to whether or not the men running the show were prejudiced in their attitudes to gender. When the sums were done, it was apparent to any observer, they were often unwittingly susceptible to the power of the female mystique and they didn’t realise it.

  Why was this, I thought? They did what all men do when their primeval instincts over-rule their business discipline. They succumbed to the flirtations of the women. But, many ambitious and calculating women encourage this with the use of their personality and body language. However as Henry Kissinger the great United States Secretary of State once said, ‘Power is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac’. Many women worship power, they love status; men in uniforms and management have it. Power offers provision and security; the things that embody the power of masculinity and women want to see that power in their men. Thinking men should understand the true meaning of masculinity and realise that such masculinity can be the anti-dote to the power of the female mystique. The female mystique for her and the power of masculinity for him are the relevant factors that give the two genders a competitive edge in human interaction. The successful cultivation of your erotic capital provides these human attributes and ensures the good things of life keep coming your way. Modern day executives talk about charismatic intimidation, the ability to make people feel obligated to deal with you, see your point of view and act on such point of view. I intend to sho
w how such an empowerment phenomenon is all about the use of Personal Magnetism or simply, Sex Appeal, Erotic Capital in action.

  In that real estate organisation, many men and women excelled in the business and many didn’t. The ones who did, had what you call the X-factor, the personal magnetism developed from ones Erotic Capital that makes people stand out and perform to high levels of success. That is what this book is all about, developing your power of Sex Appeal to bring out your latent X-factor. Read on…..

  Chapter 1

  The Power of Sex

  Put simply, in our evolutionary history, it seems likely that a woman’s value was usually her reproductive value and a man’s value was his resource value.

  BOBBI LOW

  Our Primeval Instincts

  A fundamental lesson to remember regardless of the advancement of the human race (education, technology improvements), is that homo-sapien’s primeval instincts still underpin today’s relationship between male and female. Our primeval instincts still drive and empower us. When it comes down to sex in relation to human interaction, our primeval instincts can either interfere with, or enhance our rationality. The leader in the interaction will be the one who tempers the power of these instincts with the astute use of intelligence. Hillary Clinton, the United States Secretary of State and Richard Branson the British businessman are examples of such people to have this attribute. Mastery of these primeval instincts is what sexual empowerment over one’s environment is all about.

  Irrespective of the way you see the advent of man, the following is indisputable. The female’s primeval roles are those of nurturer and motivator. The male’s primeval roles are those of provider and protector. However, as society has evolved, it has encouraged role swapping and role sharing and this is now accepted. As their primeval instincts evolved, both genders accepted their own sexual organs helped dispose bodily waste, but were definitely there for pleasure and procreation. The male’s instinct to reproduce to ensure the propagation of the species is so powerful it can overrule him in the form of uncontrollable sexual desire, which can either build him as a great hunter/gatherer or else destroy him. It can depend upon a combination of his self-esteem, self-discipline and the influence of the female. So it is with the female, her desire to reproduce is just as powerful and can ensure she is seen to be the controlling and motivating power of the male. It can depend upon a combination of her desire, self-discipline and the susceptibility of the male.

  Experience has certainly proven that your rate of achievement in any field of human endeavour is relative to the physical expression of your thoughts, thus your confidence and personality in action. Put another way, the successful use of your erotic capital helps determine your level of charisma, the X-factor, the Personal Magnetism that evolves from the way you think. It may surprise many to realise that this use is part of the gateway to absolute wealth. At the same time, included within your psyche, there is a system that ignites your whole being. It’s a system of mental discipline enabling you to sublimate your sexual desire and energy into a powerful force that can mean the difference between failure and success or poverty and wealth. It’s how we, as males and females control our sex drive that counts, so that we know how to achieve greater fulfilment in life.

  Primeval man learned that he could satisfy his sexual hunger after he first satiated his woman’s hunger for red meat (money as it’s known today), the food capable of restoring iron to her body i.e. if he brought in food and the family was content, he was rewarded with sex. His role was that of hunter/gatherer of meat, thus provider and protector of the woman, while her role was that of motivator and nurturer.

  Leonard Shlain in Sex Time & Power writes that Anthropologist Janet Siskind, who studied a tribe of ancient people of the Peruvian Amazon area, summed up the relationship between iron and sex when she observed: ‘put at its crudest, the special hunt symbolises an economic structure in which meat is exchanged for sex.’ Again in Sex, Time & Power, when describing primeval times Leonard Shlain wrote that, ‘Women like meat. Each increase in hunting success moves a man up a notch in the male dominated hierarchy and each ascending brings with it an increasing number of females willing to have sex with him.’

  Women wanted the substance -red meat- that gave them energy and health, and ensured they gave birth to bright babies. In primeval times, women refused sex to a man who did not provide meat. Women favoured Alpha males because they also wanted the best genetic material for their offspring. A strong man created a strong baby. A weak man created a weak baby. Since prehistoric times, men have passionately embraced meat hunting/money making as a means of gaining sexual favours or gaining their place as Alpha males in the tribal group. The daring hunters of ancient times increased the quantity and quality of meat they brought back to the cave as do their money-making counter-parts of modern times. Women applauded and rewarded such success. The level of a man’s success in providing for his offspring became a defining trait that increased the likelihood of his family’s survival and status in society.

  The primeval instinct of sex being the reward for providing the means of survival drove ancient man, and today it drives modern man. Today the meat is called money. The hunter is called the executive, the labourer, the academic, the tradesman, the contractor, the worker and so forth. The nurturer and motivator as well as bearing children, is now expected to share the hunting role. As modern society evolved, it conditioned the primeval behaviour of the human race to reflect the value of money within its control. Perhaps it should be acknowledged that our success in accumulating money is helped by the rational use of our sex drive.

  An analogy to the power of sex drive is the power of your motor-car. Boy racers, through the lack of self-discipline waste power on burn-outs, wheelies and reckless driving as they have no real focus on where they are going. A Formula One racing car driver has the self-discipline to keep his focus on the race, strive for the Chequered Flag and use power efficiently.

  In the example above you could say the bodywork of the car is the sex appeal whereas the car’s engine is the sex drive, which is able to be controlled by the empowering mind of the driver.

  This drive within has always been part of our primeval instincts, just like our appetite for food or desire for warmth. We all possess it. It is normal. Discussing the drive has finally ‘come out of the closet’, as they say, after its repression in the early part of last century. The changing attitudes during the Second World War, together with the sexual revolution of the 60s, 70s and the age of enlightenment as we move onwards through the new millennium, have brought about this change in attitude to sex. In the early part of the twentieth century, old values indicated it was a shameful act of the working class, but a naughty and nice activity of the upper class.

  The Real Aims of Sex

  Think about the words of the great Evangelist, Billy Graham, “I am not against sex, I am here as a result…..”. Sadly mankind does abuse the role of sex. Today in many countries, undisciplined sexual activity has abused the real aims of sex and has created major social problems. The majority of us follow the real aims of sex, which are:

  1) Procreation of the human race,

  2) Rejuvenation of the body,

  3) Motivation to provide sustenance, make money.

  4) Empowerment within relationships.

  If you have a fit body and a fit brain, then you will have the ability to live up to the real aims of sex. However, things like a proper education, the right motivation and the right environment all play a great part in one’s sexual activity.

  Sadly, many misguided authorities; government, religious and educational, have often being reluctant to encourage the utilisation of our sexual drive for the other rewards it brings such as love for one another and the empowerment it can have. These authorities will often take a biased view and infer that sex is only for procreation. Utter rubbish! The more liberal thinking and behaviour in today’s civilised countries cries out for more lateral thinking about sex. Accordin
gly, this book takes a positive viewpoint about the joy, mystery and importance of sexual behaviour. The acknowledgement and utilisation of the latent power of one’s Erotic Capital (Page 24) could be the difference between life and death or failure and success! Thus its important to associate sex with the love of a partner as this can also mean the difference between misery and happiness.

  Sex is perhaps one of nature’s greatest gifts to mankind. So like all of nature’s gifts, the use and fulfilment of sexual desire must be carried out with care and consideration. The sexual function was put in us to procreate, and the Incentive to procreate was the associated pleasure. As time has gone by, many people have now begun to realise the function of sex has other possibilities, as discussed later the chapters under “Sex: The Physical Action” - its therapeutic powers, in “The Meeting of the Minds” - empowering relationships with love, in “Erotic Capital” - the social and economic value of sex appeal as a means of empowerment.

  Sex Drive

  The outrageous demands of educational naivete, religious brainwashing, government decree and political correctness must not be allowed to negate our natural desires. Enlightened people realise that our sex drive requires an outlet, usually in the form of sexual intercourse or what the enlightened call, making love. The outlet can also take the form of enjoyment, motivation, procreation, health, recreation and achievement.

  When you love someone, making love comes naturally. We don’t a a plan each time we do it, as it more often than not it is spontaneous. The considered and objective use of our sex drive would perhaps be, the most fruitful act of sexual empowerment. This drive remains with people throughout their lives despite the four phases of the changing Body Clock.

  Childhood is a time of naiveté, the thing of note being that children seem to accept that boys and girls are different. Children are curious about sex, a natural innocence, the old saying, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours,” is typical of children. However, a child’s sexual appetite is usually neutral until puberty comes along and youth begins.